This is a repost of something I wrote on Facebook last year...I read it again this morning and it made me laugh. Seriously, who has to say some of these things? Oh right, ME! And why would that be? Oh, sure...because I have children who are occasionally insane!!
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1. Stop licking the dog!
2. I don't care if everyone else has a cell phone, you can't have one until you are at least 11!
3. Let me put that in my Blackberry.
4. That bartender doesn't look old enough to serve alcohol.
5. In my day Izod shirts never used to cost THAT much!
6. You have to hold your penis when you pee!
7. In this family we wear pants when we eat dinner.
8. Who barfed in this garbage can?
9. I like Jessica Simpson. (Well, this was true last year...now I just kind of feel sorry for her. I like the purses and shoes in her clothing line though.)
10. I like Barry Manilow. (And I am going to see him in concert this winter with my MOTHER, lol.)
11. My parents were right about a lot of things...especially that smoking is bad and the fact that family comes first.
12. Because I said so!! And if your friends jumped off a bridge would you do it too?
13. Yes, you can have fries and pudding for dinner.
14. Please don't bring the Cokes until their meals come.
15. Don't make me come down there!
16. We don't eat fries off the ground.
17. Stop reading and go to bed!
18. That music is too loud.
19. I'd rather be at work.
20. You have to learn to ride a bike, we named you Ryder. That's called irony.
2. I don't care if everyone else has a cell phone, you can't have one until you are at least 11!
3. Let me put that in my Blackberry.
4. That bartender doesn't look old enough to serve alcohol.
5. In my day Izod shirts never used to cost THAT much!
6. You have to hold your penis when you pee!
7. In this family we wear pants when we eat dinner.
8. Who barfed in this garbage can?
9. I like Jessica Simpson. (Well, this was true last year...now I just kind of feel sorry for her. I like the purses and shoes in her clothing line though.)
10. I like Barry Manilow. (And I am going to see him in concert this winter with my MOTHER, lol.)
11. My parents were right about a lot of things...especially that smoking is bad and the fact that family comes first.
12. Because I said so!! And if your friends jumped off a bridge would you do it too?
13. Yes, you can have fries and pudding for dinner.
14. Please don't bring the Cokes until their meals come.
15. Don't make me come down there!
16. We don't eat fries off the ground.
17. Stop reading and go to bed!
18. That music is too loud.
19. I'd rather be at work.
20. You have to learn to ride a bike, we named you Ryder. That's called irony.
Posts
#1 But he licked me first...
ReplyDelete#6 and if you shake it more than 3 times you're playing with it...
#8 everyone. Why? is there some missing?
#12 The international parent conspiracy motto. And, "heck yes. Take me to the bridge!"
#16 Come on down. We'll make it a party.
#17 I have to read, My walkman broke.
#18 The music is too loud. Because you're too old!
#19 So go already.
#20 I'm sure glad you didn't name Bob or Neil.
There your kids don't seem so bad anymore. Or your really glad you weren't my mom or teacher.
KW
LOLOLOL...I do not feel so bad now, because the things I have heard myself saying over the last almost 13 years of child rearing have made me think I was going crazy lol..
ReplyDeleteAwesome post, I so needed to laugh, it made me feel so much better!!
KW...excellent responses. I can tell you'd give any authority a run for the money....and I like that about you.
ReplyDeleteBella...It is a known fact that brain matter is affected by childbirth and rearing. Kids might say the darndest things but they make us say the MOST RIDICULOUS things!!!!
I like the last one best - too funny :)
ReplyDelete#6 NOT if you sit
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those that works smarter...not harder!
My life is a little like this...
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SWS, but absolutely LOVED this post! I'm totally going to have to pirate your idea and make your own list! (OK. Not really pirate.. I'll let everyone know the idea came form you!) :-)
ReplyDeleteI can't remember how many times I've said #12!
ReplyDeleteAnd #15!
All the stuff my parents used to say that I absolutely SWORE I would never say, I'm saying now. It's amazingly ironic.
Blasé said...
ReplyDelete#6 NOT if you sit
Hey brudda,
Real men don't squat to pee!