Friday, July 31, 2009

Common Lies To Be Watchful Of...

**After a recent discussion with one of my sons about lying vs. "white lies" is a repost of an old list I put on Facebook last winter...still holds true ;-).
Now, the disclaimer here is that OBVIOUSLY none of this is from my personal life. These are all based on observations of OTHERS. Being an educator, union official and mommy, I would NEVER, ever fib, embellish or lie. This is all for the purposes of entertainment, folks.

1. "Your email must have got sent to my bulk folder. I never got it, I am so sorry!" Now, this will work in extreme situations...but is clearly a lie that you can't use with family or close friends. I have heard it works in a school setting...

2. "My son is sick. Barfing all over. I am so sorry I can't make it to your candle and basket party." If someone who doesn't have kids says this to you, you can be pretty sure they are lying their ass off. So, remember, this doesn't work if you don't have kids yet. And if everyone knows that you have a kid who can barf at will, this won't work either ;-).

3. "I didn't have any cell reception so I couldn't call to invite you." Yeah right....and if that person has Verizon you KNOW they are lying. Verizon rocks. I always have reception.

4. "My sitter cancelled." This is ALWAYS a lie. I have never known this to be true...ever, in the history of the world. But it works well when needed, just don't get caught out elsewhere when you are supposed to be at the candle and basket party.

5. "My husband won't allow it." Oh PUL-LEASE! what self-respecting woman in her right mind actually says this and means it? This is only to be used when you don't want to do something and you need to blame it on someone else. However, once uttered no one can argue with you since they aren't entirely sure if your husband borders on abusive and they don't wanna get you beat up!

6. "Oh shoot...I gotta go. The kids are fighting." If you really want to be on the phone a little sibling squabble doesn't stop a real mother. You just close the door to the room they are in or give the "Mother Death Stare".

7. "No, I have never been drunk. I don't like the way it makes me feel." Now, this is a lie that MUST be told to children under legal drinking age when they ask. The watchful part of this lie is if you do not tell this lie you might be an overindulgent parent who is too intent on being friends with their kid.

8. "It's not you. It's me." is NEVER me, it is always YOU!

9. "No, I can't make that meeting. I have a doctor's appointment." Really? How often do most people have dr's appointments? It is probably a manicure or a cut and color. But you can't argue with someone who SAYS they have a medical appointment. Now, if they said dentist you could argue...because that isn't ever terminal. That's why doctor's appointments are conversation stoppers.

10. "The dog has horrible gas!" Yeah, right....These are the same people who blame babies for their own gastrointestinal problems. Blaming children and defenseless animals! Just disgusting!

11. "This project took my little Sarah hours and hours to do!" Yeah, I'm sure, Mom. Your kid couldn't recreate that level of work in my classroom if I gave her 10 days, a $5000 budget and a staff of 6. Nice work, Mom. How'd you do in 4th grade the first time around?

12. "I couldn't get to the phone. I am so sorry I missed your call!" This is 2008. Caller ID means that if you miss a call you know who it was. If you WANT to call back, you will. If you don't want to call back, you say this (or #3....both work in either situation generally.)

Certain lies (or, "fibs", if you will) don't cause unending pain and hurt. The above are just little, if you said you couldn't drive a colleague to her grandmother's funeral because you had to go and serve soup to homeless people but really you had to go watch GH at a friend's house, THAT would just be wrong...on so many levels.

Lying is wrong....unless it is necessary....

Thursday, July 30, 2009

That's nice...

My older son was born 11 years ago tonight by emergency c-section (thus beginning the slow and inevitable decline of my once hot bod). He just called me from his friend's house to say happy "his birth day". Lol.

Actually, he said, "Thanks for having a c-section so I didn't die." I told him no was my pleasure after about 6 months of heartburn and sleepless nights.

The kid is a keeper though...he's smart, he's funny, he doesn't mind going to the mall with me and he will still kiss me goodbye in public.

Motherhood rocks ;-).

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Things Would Be Different if I Were in Charge...

If I were in charge things would be a lot different. And of course, different doesn't always mean better but in this case, it actually WOULD be there! If I were in charge:

1. Stupid people...put to death. No trial, no second chances. You are dumb, you die. This would end the morons who get to the front of the line at McDonald's and have to READ THE MENU. If you just got off the boat from the Nicobar Archipelago then fine. Otherwise, order your frickin' value meal and move on. This also gets rids of people who say stuff like, "Oh, I don't use email."

2. As long as I am on the topic...If I were in charge there would be no long winded phone messages where at the end the person blurts out their phone number (which is different than the Caller ID) so quickly that you have to listen to the message 3 times to get it down. Send me an email.

3. Families would be able to actually go to a professional sporting event without the cost being like $200. And I don't even mean counting the souvenirs or the food. I would like to be able to buy Bulls or Hawks or Bears tickets and not have to forego groceries for the week. When we do go, I look around the stadium and wonder, "WTF? How do these people all have more money than I do?" I just don't get it. It's a bummer.

4. Comcast would be disbanded and their leaders taken out to a field and shot point blank (see #1). The cable would be free, as God intended.

5. Banks and car mechanics would be open on Sunday. 'Nuff said, no explanation needed.

6. Children's sports would not play on holidays. No soccer games on Mother's Day, no baseball on 4th of July and no hockey on Thanksgiving. These things do nothing more than piss off parents who have to split up the family to be in 2 places at once. It also causes the family members without kids or with babies to say things like, "Oh, we will never allow our little Bart to do that!" Yeah right, see me in 10 years.

7. All birds would be kept in cages so they can't swoop down out of nowhere and peck your eyes out.

8. McDonald's would deliver...sometimes you just need fries and a large fountain Diet Coke at 11:00 p.m. when the kids are asleep.

9. The bank next door to me would fix the sewer in their parking lot so that it would not cause a lake to develop every time it rains. At this point in the year it is just a resort area for mosquito larvae. Yuck.

10. Road construction work would only be done between the hours of midnight and 5:00 a.m. Then, it would all get put away so that the lanes that aren't are all torn up could be used during the day when people need them. Do they seriously need to block both right lanes when they are only working on the shoulder??

11. There would be no more ATM fees. Those are dumb and I don't like them.

Obviously, there are more important things I could do if I were in peace, no more war, no discrimination, cure cancer and so on. But really, all of that is beyond my scope. I'd like to keep things do-able. And get rid of stupid people. And birds. I hate birds.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Things that are better with avocado...

Avocados are yummy AND good for you. According to Wikipedia:

"High avocado intake has been shown to have an effect on blood serum cholesterol levels. Specifically, after a seven day diet rich in avocados, hypercholesterolemia patients showed a 17% decrease in total serum cholesterol levels. These subjects also showed a 22% decrease in both LDL (bad cholesterol) and triglyceride levels and 11% increase in HDL (good cholesterol) levels....About 75% of an avocado's calories come from fat, most of which is monounsaturated fat. Avocados also have 60% more potassium than bananas. They are rich in B vitamins, as well as vitamin E and vitamin K.[19] They have the highest fiber content of any fruit - including 75% insoluble and 25% soluble fiber."

I love cutting them open, popping out the stone and then either scooping them out, or slicing them and dicing them. It is fun! And adding them to lots of things really brightens up the menu. For example you can add them to:

1. Anything Mexican (duh!), except maybe margaritas...the avocado just gets soggy.

2. A piece of fish...I just had a salmon fillet and sliced up some avocado and put it on top with some salsa...voila! A healthy entree that didn't come out of a box!

3. Cottage cheese...You may think this is gross, but I eat it for lunch at least twice a week at work: a cup of cottage cheese, sliced up avocado and salad dressing or salsa of your choice. Really, seriously, it is good. Trust me.

4. An English muffin...cream cheese and avocado. Yum!

5. Any green salad...the avocado adds a different, non-crunchy texture.

6. Eggs...after you cook the eggs (preferable scrambled, or an omelet) just scatter avocado slices or dices on top. Add salsa if desired.

Upon further review...this list might be titled, "Things that are better with avocado AND salsa", lol.

Try one of these this week and get back to me. Really, I'm here for your health. I'm a giver.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Book Club

I'm in a book club. It is comprised of a bunch of women I work with. We are all at differing life stages...some divorced, married, with kids, with grown kids, no kids, some grandmas, and even one Republican! (We are very equal opportunity.)

So, we met tonight and I came home as I always do after Book Club...full to the gills and laughing. We eat A LOT and drink, and then we usually talk about the book some. Some months we book talk more than others. We have found that when we all like the book there isn't much to talk about. We spent a lot of time tonight catching up on each others' lives since we are all in education and most of us haven't seen each other since school let out last month. (Which, if you think about it is teaching we see people EVERYDAY, we know everything about each other and then in June we go our separate ways until August.)

The book tonight was Firefly Lane by Kristen Hannah. Good book...chick-lit, pretty much and made for a good cry for most of us. And believe me, there is nothing more pathetic than an almost 42 year old woman sitting next to the pool by herself crying onto her beach towel reading a paperback. Trust me, that was me. My children were mortified.

Next month we are reading The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine...about the current rash of over pampered kids in this country. Now that one should leave us something to discuss since we teach in a very upper-middle class area and most of us are parents in the same area. We will see...

I think the nicest thing about Book Club is that we all share some things in common (profession, gender) but we differ on other things and we can discuss them. Some of the women in Club I am friends with outside of work and talk to whether school is in session or not. But others are just "colleagues"...yet we share a love of reading and talking. Nice connection!

What have you read lately?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I should play the lottery today or something...

I need to get my driver's license renewed since it is up next month on my birthday. Since the DMV is generally CRAZY I figured I could pop in there once a week for the next month and hopefully (fingers crossed and prayer may help) one of those pop-ins would result in me seeing a not-so-long line.


I bop in there today after the sale at J. Crew (don't ask, but I do own two, yes 2, grey dresses now...) and guess what? NO LINE! WTF? Unprecedented, unheard of and lots of other redundant stuff. I shimmy up to the counter, present my $10, change my weight (Cuz I haven't weighed 105 lbs since college and the dishonesty of it all has been bothering me...what if I got kidnapped and they did my APB based on my license?? Everyone would be looking for some 105 lb, 42 year old tattooed woman...I'd never get found!) and then on to get my picture taken.

And it gets better...My new driver's license photo is GREAT!! I actually look decent.

Quite the day, huh? ;-) I guess it's all downhill after Disney...but I found it exciting. Ok, back to reading better stuff than this. Thanks for your time.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Things that make you go, "Hmmm":

Gazillions (and yes, that is a number sanctioned by Disney) of people visit Disney World each year. I have seen many of them this week.

I have noticed that:

1. Most kids under the age of 6 cry at least once a day in Disney World despite the fact that this is the happiest place on Earth. It just goes to show you that most kids are greedy parasites and are never really happy. And I say that with all the love and affection of someone who spends all day with children. I enjoy them, they just don't appreciate the idea of delayed gratification.

2. 3 out of 4 families you pass by are arguing. Usually it involves Mom or Dad hissing something like, "And if you whine about it one more time you are going back to the hotel!" Then you can refer to #1 because the chid begins to cry.

3. There are many people schlepping infants around. Huh? How much fun can you have when you are stuck with a baby, 100 degree heat and only public restrooms? I'd rather walk through broken glass.

4. Same with people who need wheelchairs or scooters to get seems more trouble that it is worth. Sorry, but when I am 75 years old and in a chair, I don't need to go on "It's a Small World".

5. Not everyone who works here is happy. Don't get me wrong, I think that is okay. I envisioned all these Stepfordesque cast members who just took peoples' crap 24/7. Not so. I have seen Grumpys...and I don't mean Dopey's roommate.

6. There are gazillions of South American teen tour groups! I realize it is a different way of life (a different continent even) but I can't see sending my 14 year old to another continent with 60 other 14 year olds and a few college students. They sure are partying it up, in the pool past midnight and they seem to have a chant for everything. Of course they could be saying, "Death to Floridians!", I have no idea. Also, Tom seems to be a big magnet for "beer buying" requests. They clearly don't know him, lol.

7. And is that woman over there SERIOUSLY wearing that bikini?? Sheesh, I shouldn't worry about my body at all. That chick has some major high self-esteem.

People watching is the best. I'm not judging, just noticing. Peace, out.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Day 3...

We went back to the Magic Kingdom today and did everything we did on Sunday plus:

1. Big Thunder Railroad-Loved it! Not too scary but not wimpy! I love how the rides here are actually LONG. Not Great America "stand in line for 45 minutes and the ride is 30 seconds".

2. Buzz Lightyear-Fun but the instructions were hard to hear and we didn't know you had to shot the "z" circles only. Someone with a seizure disorder should NOT ride this...oy, the noise and strobes!

The whole Fast Pass thing makes life easier. And staying on the resort allows you to come in to some parks early...I am grateful to my friends who come here every year and gave me the FULL scoop on how to do all of this!

Tomorrow is Epcot. Can't wait to see what this "Soarin'" thing is all about.

Day 2

We had another fun, full day. Aside from a couple minor fits over food or the order of events we continue to make fabulous, fricking family memories each day:

1.Kilimanjaro Safari-Very cool. We saw various horned animals, giraffes, elephants, cheetahs and lions. A rhino walked in front of the jeep for a bit and we saw hipps as well. There were a lot of birds...I hate birds.

2.Kali River Rapids-Tons of fun! Ryder and I got completely soaked. We Fast Pass-ed this one...greatest invention ever!

3. Everest Expedition-Fab coaster! Tom and I LOVED it. The damn kids were scared and wouldn't go on it twice. Losers.

4. Prmeval Whirl-Otherwise known as Six Flags' Ragin' Cajun.We saw a lizard on the groud when we were waiting in line, that was fun.I think I got whiplash on this one. Very jarring.

5. Dinosaur-Very loud but fun. When the suspiciously Satan looking T-rex screams in your face I did wanna cover my ears.

6. It's Tough to be a Bug-Awesome 3-D! This is what 3-D is supposed to be. Even I wanted to try to reach out and grab the little flying bees. I was not expecting the water or the fog...and I did scream when the "cockroaches" ran under my seat. I believe Ryder yelled, "What the hell was THAT??". Lol.

7. Finding Nemo-Musical version with puppets. Cute, great puppetry, but a little young for our boys. Great for the under 6 year old set.

8. Pangani Trail-We saw gorillas and hippos. Ryder was a superb trail guide, following the map and everything.

9. Maharajah Trek-This is another walking trail with Komodo dragons and HUGE scary fruit bats. Too many birds though.

A great day...we did everything we wanted except ride Everest twice...damn kids.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Half a day at Magic Kingdom

We got in yesterday afternoon to Disney World and went to the Magic Kindom. We did A LOT!!

Just so I don't forget, here is the list:

1. Jungle Cruise-I wonder if the skippers all have the same schtick.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean-Awesome! Some of the pirates looked so real, some not so much.

3. Splash Mountain-It was long! I had no idea! So much fun and yes we were soaking. Ryder and I were right in front and I hid behind him. I have no shame.

4. Tea Cups-You gotta do it, right?

5. Haunted Mansion-We all agreed that we wished more stuff jumped out at us but it was good.

6. It's a Small World-A little freaky and annoying but you have to say you did it. We took a funny picture of Tom and AJ looking scared at the freaky dolls.

7. Peter Pan-This was fun too. Of course it makes sense that we flew but I wasn't expecting it. The boys don't know the story so I was explaining it to them in line.

We ate in Tomorrow Land and Ryder was pissed there were no fries. Tom was cranky about not having enough pop and AJ and I were happy in the happiest place on Earth!!

Let's see what today brings!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Observations from the road...

So, we got to just north of Atlanta yesterday. Today we are up bright and early and on the road towards Macon.

Thoughts thus far:

1. My kids are being GREAT. Really, even I'm surprised and usually I like them anyway. The point system (see yesterday's post) is going well. We may end up buying them too-expensive-crap when they redeem points for dollars.

2. The exit and ramp signs in the south are funny. They are all culicue...they almost look fake! At home the arrow just points to the left or right no matter how much the ramp loops around.

3. Chick-fil-A IS pretty good. Never been there until last night. The rumors are true-good chicken, yummy waffle fries and Tom was beside himself with joy over the fountain Diet Dr. Pepper. That is unprecedented back home! Very interesting that they are closed on Sundays bank and car dealership of them...

4. A lot of people throw whole trash bags on the side of the road. Very bad manners.

5. Don't they use recycled tire rubber for playgrounds sometimes? Well, we could outfit about a million playgrounds with the blown tires we've seen so far. Do trucks blow tires like everyday or something? It is unreal! Who knew?

6. Liquid chicken is some sort of processed chicken substance that is hauled in large trucks. I guess (according to a friend who Googled it for me back home) it is used for pet food. We drove behind a truck labeled "Haulin' Liquid Chicken" for miles in Tennessee yesterday.

7. The 70 mph speed limit in the south rocks! Never seen that before. Although driving through the mountains in Tennessee at 70 mph to keep up with traffic is a little hair-raising. And when you see signs labeled "Runaway Truck Ramp" it makes you go, "Hmmmm".

8. Best billboard so far: "Liquor Store Next Exit-Military Discounts Given". Yikes.

9. I've been "m'am-ed" a lot. It's nice and all, but I'm starting to feel old. Oh wait, I am old.

10. We are seeing lots of roadside signs for "p'nuts". Is it really necessary to abbreviate peanuts? I think with proper planning you can fit 2 more vowels on the poster. Oh, and also apparently people in Georgia are much more free with apostrophes. Either that or the crops own a lot more stuff because we've seen signs for "peach's", "onion's" and "watermelon's".

I guess that's about it...we just entered Butts County. The kids are pretty amused by that. The South is nothing if not fun, so far.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

On the Road (not again, for first time!)...

Into the second hour of our road trip to Disney far so good ;-). Who knew the speed limit in Indiana was 70 mph? That got Tom REALLY excited, which is as excited as he is gonna get for the next week seeing as how all 4 of us are sharing a hotel room.

Here are the "5 Commandments of the Road Trip" by my older son:

1. Shut up and don't complain.

2. Be patient.

3. Don't fight.

4. There isn't that much food so don't ask all the time.

5. Be bored in silence.

Not bad, huh? The boys are on a point system for behavior for the trip...points can be redeemed for $ to buy crap in Disney. I will keep you informed of the point totals which I am sure will be directly proportional to my mood throughout the week.

So far the boys are tied...2 points each. And in case you are wondering, yes, points can be deducted. Absolute power is mine!! Bwahahahaha!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Life Is Too Short...

I think over the past decade or so I have mellowed some. Not everyone would agree with that, but I think I have, so that is all that matters. ;-) Having kids SHOULD mellow a person somewhat. I know there is plenty to worry about once you have kids, but you have to let some things go. And actually, I have come to realize the past couple of years that I am a pretty happy person. Some of it is because things are ok in my life, some of it is because I choose to let other things go. For whatever reason, I do think that you can choose to be happy for the most part. That doesn't mean that sh*t doesn't happen, or that unfortunate or unfair things don't occur. But it does mean that you can choose the way you handle those things and you can embrace the "good stuff" all the more. are some things I have found life to be too short to perseverate on:

1. Not everyone will like me. I spent a lot of time when I was younger worrying about this and trying to be "oh so perfect". While it still bothers me if someone doesn't like me or agree with me, I try to remember that they are dumb and then I move on ;-).

2. Disliking someone because they made a bad choice...People do dumb things. Life is too short for me to hold grudges against people who have not harmed me personally or intentionally. I don't have the time or energy to alienate people who wronged someone else when that someone else has forgiven them. That being said, there are some people that I just don't like. But I prefer to attribute that to good taste.

3. Changes at work...I love my job and where I work. I might not agree with everything that goes on but I'm not the boss. That doesn't mean I don't get annoyed when someone asks me to reinvent the wheel, but I have learned to move forward in a way I didn't know how to do 10 or 15 years ago.

4. Having the perfectly clean house. I have kids, and they are boys, my house won't ever be clean again.

5. Counting every calorie...If I get killed by a bear tomorrow my casket might weigh 5 pounds more than I'd like. But then again, I'll be dead so it is really the pallbearers problem, not mine. If you are in a healthy weight zone, no need to obsess.

6. Having it all...I will never be rich, I will always (hopefully) have "just enough". It is not worth thinking about what I don't have, what I can't do and what I can't afford. I could let that bother me since in the area where I live most people have "above and beyond". It used to bother me more...maybe because I am pretty happy as I mentioned above. The old saying "money can't buy happiness" is true...of course, it HELPS, but it doesn't create it ;-).

7. Flossing is a waste of time...ok, maybe not really. But I'm busy online every night trying to write entertaining little ditties for you people. I don't have time for more grooming. And yes, I may regret this later in life...but then again, life is too short to worry and I have dental insurance.

There is more of course, but that is just off the top of my head. And I am busy packing for Disney, you're gettin' a short, odd numbered list this week. Life is too short for me to worry about even numbers, I am focusing on a road trip, time with my family and seeing the happiest place on Earth.

Life may be too short for some things but the key is for you to enjoy what it is, what you have and what you can do.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Well, DID rain on our parade!

So we just LOVE the 4th of July. We have several family tranditions that have evolved over the years. On the 3d we BBQ with friends and then walk to our town's fireworks. The fireworks were exceptionally good last night, and it was the first year in many that it wasn't 90 plus degrees...I actually wore a jacket while eating the traditional Swedish Fish and Twizzlers. We sat with friends and the kids are now old enough to run around the field and find their way back to us when necessary...nice!

On the 4th our town does it up BIG! We do the pancake breakfast/carnival/art fair at the park district center and field. Well, AJ and I did it with a friend and her daughter this year since Ryder had baseball and Tom went there. But it was nice...especially interesting was the artist who paints on toilet seat covers. He had a lovely rendition of the album cover for "Dark Side of the Moon", but I digress...

Ryder's team lost in the bottom of the last inning with him pitching...and yes, ther IS crying in baseball when you are 9 and were previously undefeated. And then it drizzled throughout the parade, but there was candy thrown at our heads and bagpipers galore, so that was nice.

Then (as every year) we sprint to the car and drive to the next 'burb south for the parade that goes past the in-laws house. The drizzle progressed to full on rain, but the, parade went on.

I'm dried off now, sitting at the in-laws with a glass of wine and some salted almonds. If the rain let's up we will do more fireworks...or just go home. We keep reminding ourselves of all the years we are melting in the heat. Next year we can say, "Remember last year when everything was soggy?"

Happy 4th to all...wave a flag, light a sparkler and eat a hot dog. I love summer :-).

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Suspending Belief...

I love tv. I mean really love it. I watch it all the time and I am not afraid to say that aloud. As a kid, I had few limitations on my tv time and in turn, my kids have few limitations as well. So far, they are not too messed up...if you can overlook a few ill-timed Simpsons or Family Guy quotes at family dinners. Anyway, my point is that all of this makes me (in my own mind) a "TV Expert" if you will, a connoisseur of sorts. I believe in the positive effects of television. But to completely embrace the world of tv you have to be willing to suspend belief on a lot of topics. If you don't, it is just annoying and you end up noticing stupid things. are things you must be willing to overlook:

1. Characters can hear things that Steve Austin never could have heard. But yet, they DON'T hear something just around the corner. This serves to push storylines forward or hold them back, depending on when sweeps week is.

2. They use cell phones in hospitals all the time! When my kid had a concussion and was in the ER getting a CAT scan I forced Tom to call the grandparents on his cell and the nurse reprimanded him. I wanted to point out that on tv they do it all the time...but I was busy.

3. They never actually say good bye when on the phone and this is not seen as rude. I get a call back from my mother when I do this...of course perhaps my ending the conversation with, "Whatever!" and slamming the phone down might have something to do with it too.

4. People never have to wait in lines...unless the premise of the show is that they are in a hurry. On "Seinfeld" they waited in lines all the time, but that show was about nothing.

5. Redecorating is flawless, seamless and takes no time at all. No back ordered supplies, no behind schedule contractors, no rain delays. Yeah, that happens in real life all the time, right?

6. The "pop in" is a staple. On tv people are always just stopping over and popping in to each others' houses. Aside from next door neighbors this really does not happen in real life. And if it did, you'd be annoyed. I'm busy. I do not have time to sit around and chit-chat with people that I did not invite over. If I want you in my house I will invite you...and you better bring wine.

7. Women wake up with make-up on. If normal women go to sleep with make-up on they will wake up a runny, streaky mess. Plus, leaving make-up on 24/7 leads to acne. (Something else that never plagues tv people...except for P. Diddy or Jessica Simpson who use ProActiv, as do I).

8. On tv, when people entertain they always have enough matching chairs, dishes, glasses etc...When my whole family comes over we have to use 2 different tables and 3 different sets of chairs. If I have more than 10 people we use paper plates. And I know on soaps they are all rich but this is the case on sitcoms too...except "Roseanne" but barely making ends meet was the premise of that show.

Clearly there are more "way fakey" things on tv, but there are the ones that jump out at me consistently. Feel free to list any other ones below...but if you don't watch tv (shudder, gasp) no need to judge the rest of us, just go read a book or something ;-).