Suspending Belief...

I love tv. I mean really love it. I watch it all the time and I am not afraid to say that aloud. As a kid, I had few limitations on my tv time and in turn, my kids have few limitations as well. So far, they are not too messed up...if you can overlook a few ill-timed Simpsons or Family Guy quotes at family dinners. Anyway, my point is that all of this makes me (in my own mind) a "TV Expert" if you will, a connoisseur of sorts. I believe in the positive effects of television. But to completely embrace the world of tv you have to be willing to suspend belief on a lot of topics. If you don't, it is just annoying and you end up noticing stupid things. So...here are things you must be willing to overlook:

1. Characters can hear things that Steve Austin never could have heard. But yet, they DON'T hear something just around the corner. This serves to push storylines forward or hold them back, depending on when sweeps week is.

2. They use cell phones in hospitals all the time! When my kid had a concussion and was in the ER getting a CAT scan I forced Tom to call the grandparents on his cell and the nurse reprimanded him. I wanted to point out that on tv they do it all the time...but I was busy.

3. They never actually say good bye when on the phone and this is not seen as rude. I get a call back from my mother when I do this...of course perhaps my ending the conversation with, "Whatever!" and slamming the phone down might have something to do with it too.

4. People never have to wait in lines...unless the premise of the show is that they are in a hurry. On "Seinfeld" they waited in lines all the time, but that show was about nothing.

5. Redecorating is flawless, seamless and takes no time at all. No back ordered supplies, no behind schedule contractors, no rain delays. Yeah, that happens in real life all the time, right?

6. The "pop in" is a staple. On tv people are always just stopping over and popping in to each others' houses. Aside from next door neighbors this really does not happen in real life. And if it did, you'd be annoyed. I'm busy. I do not have time to sit around and chit-chat with people that I did not invite over. If I want you in my house I will invite you...and you better bring wine.

7. Women wake up with make-up on. If normal women go to sleep with make-up on they will wake up a runny, streaky mess. Plus, leaving make-up on 24/7 leads to acne. (Something else that never plagues tv people...except for P. Diddy or Jessica Simpson who use ProActiv, as do I).

8. On tv, when people entertain they always have enough matching chairs, dishes, glasses etc...When my whole family comes over we have to use 2 different tables and 3 different sets of chairs. If I have more than 10 people we use paper plates. And I know on soaps they are all rich but this is the case on sitcoms too...except "Roseanne" but barely making ends meet was the premise of that show.

Clearly there are more "way fakey" things on tv, but there are the ones that jump out at me consistently. Feel free to list any other ones below...but if you don't watch tv (shudder, gasp) no need to judge the rest of us, just go read a book or something ;-).