You know, I'm always thinking...always wondering...always pondering. And sometimes, like a string of celery between my molars, something just gets caught and I can't get rid of it. So here ya go:
1. How the heck do fax machines work? I mean, they were around before a lot of the computer stuff we are used to. So really, it is magic, right? I have always wondered this...It can not be explained.
2. When I know perfectly well who someone is and they act like they have NO FRICKING idea who I am, am I really honestly supposed to believe them? All it makes me wonder is WHY they are acting like they don't know who I am. Have they only heard bad things? Have they found everything out that they know about me by internet stalking and they are worried they will give it away? Do they have memory issues and they are embarrassed to admit it? What?? Just say something like, "Oh, sure, Amy. It is nice to see you."
3. Why in the world are so many people allergic to so many things these days? Really...it is freaky and weird. I never knew anyone who was allergic to nuts when I was a kid and now every year I have kids with horrible allergies in my classroom. It is scary. Then of course there is my allergy to stupid people...but that's not new.
4. All those people at daytime major league ball games...they are unemployed slackers, right? So, how do they afford the tickets when I can't and I actually work for a living?
5. Why do people on some of those reality shows do it? That "Toddlers and Tiara" show kills me. I have never watched a whole one...the promos are enough to make me sick. But why do those people do it?? Don't they get it that EVERYONE else in the world thinks they are insane? Do they ever watch themselves?
6. I would be embarrassed to order some of the drinks that I have heard people order in Starbuck's. I mean please, I can barely remember where I parked that early in the morning and these people have orders that consist of 15 words.
7. Why does the "early bird get the worm"? Why can't the rest of us just decide that birds are stupid and scary and evil and we'd prefer to be the "late morning bunny who noshes on a salad"?
8. I don't remember all that much about high school. It didn't make that much of an impression on me. I remember a lot more about junior high and pretty much everything about college. You couldn't pay me to go back to high school. It was a lot of work, a lot of resentment and not enough freedom. I spent a lot of time worrying about what people thought and lo and behold...it turns out it didn't really matter. Hey, if it weren't for Facebook I'd never have seen most of them again, lol.
9. I hate it when I am listening to my iPod and a song comes on and I think, "Huh? I put that on my iPod?? Ewwww." Does that mean that my tastes have changed that much? Maybe downloading elves have hacked my iTunes...Oh wait, I just realized...it could be my kids! They're busted!!!
10. No one has acted too surprised about my age recently...that used to happen all the time. Damn.
That's all for now...but now that I have gotten all this off my chest I can move on to other stuff. But really, if someone can explain fax machines to me in under 100 words I will proclaim your intelligence via my status update on Facebook for an entire day. I swear. And that is a major honor!! Think about it.