Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I am not a naturally patient person. When something needs to be done, I do it. I don't put it off; I don't saunter through it. I just get 'er done. And yes, occasionally that leads to impulsivity related mistakes....but I can clean those up too. Some things in life you have to wait for though, and I hate that. It sucks to wait for:

1. My coffee at Starbucks when all I order is regular drip. I can go get it myself. And if I did, it wouldn't be too full or too low.

2. The doctor to call back when you have questions about your kid's illness. And then he does call back and you are out to dinner. Of course you explain that the sick kid is home with his very responsible and possibly-more-nurturing father...but still...

3. The light to turn green when you have to get home to pee.

4. Test results from a doctor's office...whether waiting for good or bad news, it sucks. I always find it hard to believe that other people's lives just go on like normal when I am on pins and needles. I guess it isn't all about me, huh?

5. The meeting you have been called into with higher-ups, the boss etc...Even if you might not be in trouble, it is never good to get called in to "the office", right?

6. Friends who are perpetually late. It is a major pet-peeve of mine. I work full time outside the home, I have 2 kids and a dog, and I can get places on time. Everyone should be able to. Plan ahead. It is rude if you assume your time is more important than mine...because it isn't, remember? It is about me (ignore #4 above for now).

7. The shower to warm up in the morning.

8. The moron in front of me at (the) Jewel in the self-check out lane. If you don't know how to do it, then don't go in that lane when it is crowded. The machine is delicate and very picky. You have to show it who is boss and newbies can't do it.

9. Friday, when it is early in the week and you have a ton going on.

10. The weather on the news. Seriously, why isn't it FIRST?? People want to know what tomorrow will be like before they go to bed. And lot of nights I keep the news on to see the weather and then I get distracted and forget to pay attention to it. if it were first, I wouldn't have that problem!

So...chime in. I dislike waiting for your witty input. You don't like waiting for: ________??

Thursday, October 8, 2009


1. Why does the new lady at Starbucks remember my order but the one who has been there for 3 years doesn't? (And yes, I know I am obsessing over this...but seriously, it is annoying.)

2. Why do the kids at school listen to me so much better than the two with whom I live?

3. Why does that one patch of stained drywall in the dining room from the roof leak 3 years ago bother me so much? It calls to me each time I walk in there, "Look up here, Amy! In the northwest corner of the room by the closet door! I'm taunting you!!"

4. Why are there always stray socks in my basement?

5. Why does my dog drink out of the toilet when I have repeatedly explained to her that it a very bad habit? Not only is it icky, but it makes her pee in the living room before we get home from work. Is it so hard to walk 30 feet the other way into the kitchen to her water bowl? I mean, what ELSE does she have to do all day while we are gone?

6. On the same topic, why do the squirrels in my year mock my elderly dog? In her heyday she woulda made mincemeat outta them. Just ask the childless mother rabbit that used to live in my yard...

7. Why does McDonald' keep asking me if I want to try the Angus burger every time I come through the drivethru? Don't they read "Eat This, Not That"? That burger is like, worse than 3 Big Macs!

8. Why isn't Halloween in the summer when the days are longer and there is more time to trick or treat? And don't give me any of that "harvest" crap. If we still lived our lives based on farm principles kids would start school in October, end in May and I'd be melting lye for soap every weekend.

9. Why do people circle the parking lot at the health club waiting for a prime parking spot? Walk the extra few yards and count it against your treadmill time, for god's sake.

10. Why do the weather people tell us what the weather was like TODAY on the 10:00 news? Today is over, move on.

11. And for that matter, why isn't the weather the first thing on the news each night. That is all anyone cares about anyway.

12. Why do I hate kid birthday parties so much? I love the summer when no one has parties...such a reprieve! School is barely a couple of months underway and already my bulletin board is covered with printed out Evites, conflicting parties and reminders to buy presents that no one will ever play with. That last complaint is why I am strictly going gift cards from now is the only gift that is worthwhile these days. (And for the record my personal favorites are Starbucks, Target and Ann Taylor Loft...oh wait, that's for me. I guess 9 years olds prefer other crap.)

13. Why can't I find a pair of black leather boots that I like as much as the ones I bought 3 years ago and have worn into the ground? It isn't a hard request...but they just don't exist anymore.

14. Why can't you use Lettuce Entertain You Frequent Diner points on Saturdays? Ok, I get "why"...because they want the cash at high traffic times. But if I am frequent-fricking diner and loyal customer (despite DiPescara taking Tom's favorite dish off the menu) shouldn't I get to use my points when I want to?

15. Why do I get so mad when my kids are sick or hurt? I know, character flaw...I am way more sympathetic to the kids at school. Hmmm, maybe it has something to do with #2.

16. Why do I still believe that fax machines are magic?

17. Why do people put Tabasco sauce on stuff? It is so gross. When I see it I have to pant-blow out of my nose so I don't risk smelling it.

18. Why can't I buy Dell ink anywhere except online? Or, is that untrue and I just take their word for it? Is this a scam?

19. Why do some people like blasts from the past and some people eschew them?

20. Why do I feel that I have to have an even number when I write lists? I blame my friend Brian.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Some More Things That Make Me Go Hmmm...

A few things lately, actually....

1. The story on the news about the guy who climbed into the grizzly bear enclosure at a California zoo. The police officer when questioned claimed, "The individual appears to have mental problems." Ya think?? Wow, now that is some in depth police work. That guy should be the new Port Charles police chief. They need someone with a masters degree in the obvious.

2. I love Dancing With the Stars...but is it selfish of me that the two nights a week for 3-4 hours of viewing I find too much of a commitment? I want highlights and recaps...You know, drive-thru DWTS. I'm too busy for this.

3. The guy across the street from me who was leaf blowing the leaves out of his gutters in the wind storm today. Really...he must have been bored.

4. I thought KiddieLand closed like 20 years ago. Apparently I wasn't paying attention.

5. There are still actually people who are not on Facebook. I'm still as confused about this now as I was last year when I wrote about it. My husband is the chief offender. He did join this summer...for about 3 hours. But I tagged him in about 20 pictures and he received 30 friend requests and he freaked out and deleted his account. In many social situations my husband chooses flight over fight. Wuss. (Now let's see how long it takes for someone to tell him I insulted him...)

6. I always assumed I'd be the "cool mom". Now that my older one is in middle school I realize I don't care so much about it. Although I might be on to something because he does choose to hang out here with his friends a lot. I'm just sayin'.

7. Just when the local Starbuck's crew was getting their act together they went on a hiring spree this past week. NOT ONE familiar face behind the counter/bar today. Adding money to my card was very confusing for newbie guy and it took all I had to be nice. Then he forgot to get my coffee and as I stood there waiting he was like, "Did you need something else, ma'am?" Um, yes coffee??!!

8. Paper uses up trees, plastic stays in landfills for 80 million years or something like that...I'm still trying to figure out what to use when they ask. Thoughts? And don't tell me to use the reusable bags because I can't remember to do that. I'm trying to keep 20 4th graders, 2 sons, a husband and a dog on the straight and narrow...that's enough on my mind for now.

9. When the Lean Cuisine boxes say to leave it in the microwave after cooking for 1-2 minutes, do you really have to? Is it just because they think I'm too stupid to not burn myself? Or, is there a real reason?

10. I read an article about the push to get rid of the penny. Did you know it takes more than a penny to make a penny at the Mint? It is fine with me if they banish the penny...but am I the only one who is confused as to how that would work? Would we go cold turkey or would they phase it out? Would goods and services be rounded for final price? I'm assuming everything would be rounded up...fiddlesticks!!

11. The Olympics coming to Chicago...I'm thinking they are coming and will be in our backyard and only wealthy people or those with big business ties will get tickets to anything.

12. The fact that no one has been killed in recent memory at the intersection south of my street. I routinely cross that street on foot and northbound drivers turning east DO NOT EVER STOP for pedestrians. My favorite is when I almost get run over and then I recognize the driver as a parent at school. How entertaining would that be for everyone?

"Did you hear? Ms. K got run over by Bertha's mom!!"

"Yeah, that'll teach her to give a 'C' on a book report!"

Stop know it could happen.

So....what has made YOU go, "Hmmmmm" lately?