So sometimes....

You CAN go home again!

Not that you want to all the time of course, because if you did, they'd change the locks. But on occasion traipsing down that lane of memories is a hoot.

This weekend a long gone restaurant reopened in a near-by town. Said restaurant was the site of many Sweet 16s, birthday dinners, dates and then in college and the early years of teaching, "GNO" (Girls Night Out). It had a salad bar to DIE FOR...don't know what was in the tortellini salad but a dollop of it could get me going back in the olden days. The place closed down in the mid 90's and I am not joking when I say that I have thought about some of their menu items routinely for years.

So, fast forward to this summer when they began renovating another restaurant in the same mall. We all waited with breath drawn until this weekend when they reopened. And guess what? I didn't have high expectations. But really, it was the most fun I've had in a room with my children present in ages. Of course, they have some bugs to work out:

1. The main room is too bright, thus giving it a kind of cafeteria style feel.

2. The sweet young hostesses were clearly not ready for the throngs of 30, 40 and 50 something drooling patrons who descended upon them.

3. The usual new restaurant mix ups with a new wait and kitchen staff.

But the famous tortellini salad is still fabulous...I'm thinking about it now and I had half a plate full. I know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach...but tonight the way to my heart was via the salad bar.

Welcome home!

Boys...

I live with my husband and 2 sons. I understand my husband, but it took time. We've been together 24 years this fall. As for the children though, I am occasionally confused, confounded and confuzzled by their behavior....Why, oh why do they:

1. Not care how dirty and smelly they are?

2. Not look when they pee? (And yes, I do look before I sit, but still...)

3. Refuse to use napkins...shirts are not for facial crumbs.

4. (Regarding my older son) Have nothing to say on the telephone but text constantly? And yes, KW, I realize you will blame me for this habit. But he doesn't drive, he's only 11. ;-)

5. Not hear anything I ask them in the morning but can retain the sports scores from the night before while eating cereal and watching SportsCenter?

6. Like to shoot things in video games? I find this boring.

7. Say there is nothing to eat and then take 4 boxes of things down to the basement?

8. Refuse to put clothes in the laundry basket?

Ok, I know there are easy reasons for these things like, "Because Mom will do it," or, "Because they don't care and they aren't really hurting anyone." And really, I choose happiness...I'm just wondering.

Choose Happiness!!

This is my self-proclaimed mantra this year. It has become a bit of a joke between a few of us at work...I think the young'uns might be making fun of me but I don't care. You know why? Because I am happy...so frickin there!

Really, what is the alternative? And don't be glib and say, "Um, duh, moron...the alternative is unhappiness". Because that type of cheekiness is not necessary in my happy world. There are many reasons and ways to be happy. I shall illustrate:

1. Things can be suckish at times...stressful and overwhelming. But you can meet things head on and deal with them, or you can bitch about it and blame others. I spent a lot of time in my younger years doing just this. And really, it takes more effort than just doing what you need to do. Be it work, family or social obligations...things are only as bad as you let them be.

2. Being mad and bitter take A LOT of effort (plus, it is bad for frown lines). If you got killed by a bear tomorrow would you want to leave some things the way they are now? If the person you are mad at got killed by a bear tomorrow how would that pan out for you? Think about it. It may not be worth it.

3. Most people who annoy you do so not because they want to, but because they are concerned, worried or scared about something. If it has to do with their kids put yourself in their shoes...if it were your kid, would you be upset too? If the answer is yes, then stop being annoyed and help them address the problem.

4. Waiting sucks...but sometimes there is no choice. I'm not talking about morons at McDonald's who don't know what to order and hold up the line...those people deserve a little shove. But find something else to do when you are forced to wait for something important. Play on Facebook, read a book, watch General Hospital, call me for a drink. Obsessing raises the blood pressure...I know, I spent lots of time doing this in the past.

5. Say no sometimes. Lots of overstressed, grumpy people are that way because they take on too much. Say no once in awhile. Maybe your family needs you; maybe you have some magazines to read. Whatev, do something for YOU. It is ok.

6. Focus on what you can do and what you can change. I know there are some things I can't change so I move on; it doesn't mean I have given up. But if I soldier on and do MY best the annoying things have less of an effect on those around me. Sitting around complaining accomplishes nothing.

7. Spend time laughing. If there aren't people in your house or at your work who make you laugh, you may need a change of scenery. If you can't be friends with people at work and consider them merely "people I work with" then you may very well be in the wrong career. I feel bad for you because I can't imagine not laughing at work or at home, for that matter.

8. Along the same lines, enjoy your job. Life is too short.

9. The days may go slowly, especially when trapped in the house on a rainy day with your kids. But the years go quickly. Don't blink. Over the mantle in my house it says, "Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments". It is true, enjoy things as they come and choose to be happy.

10. Have friends of all ages...the young ones make you remember what it was like, keep you up on music and good nightspots and the more mature ones remind you to add more to your retirement account and seem to know a lot about prescription drugs.

I know I am going out on a limb here...next time I'm in a pissy mood someone will be all, "Choose happiness, Amy!" and I might punch them. But hey, once I get that out of my system I'm sure I will feel better.

Is it wrong?

That I am not that excited for the Olympics to perhaps come to my hometown?

I think Chicago has a pretty good chance at winning the bid to host the 2016 games. In fact, if you don't live here you can't appreciate the constant newspaper articles, the commercials ("I back the bid! Do you back the bid?") with the real Chicago celebs (Mike Ditka) and the locals (Tim Smithe of Smithe Brothers Furniture) and the news reports with the "countdown to the decision". But, I'm not that excited...

I see several issues:

1. Those of us who live will erroneously think that we can get good tickets for awesome events...it won't happen. The tickets will be outrageously priced and impossible to get.

2. Driving anywhere downtown for the weeks leading up to, and the weeks of, the Olympics will be HELL. Us locals won't be able to get to appointments, engagements or anything else for that matter. That will piss me off because it will be SUMMER, when I have the time to do all that stuff!

3. The local news will discuss NOTHING ELSE. I mean, already they talk about it nightly and we haven't even "won" yet.

4. There will be constant infighting about what buildings and lands will be used, taken over, torn down, rebuilt, refurbished etc...This will also take over the local news. Which as you can see from #3 above, will annoy me.

5. The city will prett-i-fy lots of stuff just for the summer...and then let it go to crap afterwards. That is suckish, as my 9 year old would say.

You might think I am un-American, unpatriotic or just a Scrooge. I'm not really...I LOVE the Olympics, when they are on television. Generally, I watch them 24/7 when they are on my tv. I'm not begin negative, just realistic.

Oh well, maybe I am wrong...maybe Chicago will win the bid, I will get tickets for fun stuff like diving and volleyball and gymnastics and we will all be able to drive anywhere we want to all summer. Hey, it could happen!Really, it could...maybe, allegedly, perhaps...I'm not sure. I guess we will have to wait and see...Tune in October 3 for the big DECISION.

I Hate It When People Say....

1. "No offense but..."-Really? Because if you didn't want to offend me you just wouldn't say it. As my son once told a friend, "Just because you say 'no offense' doesn't mean you can be a jerk."

2. "Maybe you didn't understand me"-People say this when they are annoyed you don't agree with them. No jerkwad, I understood you, it is just that you are WRONG!!!

3. "Excuse me, are you in line?"-No, I'm just standing behind all these people to fake you out. Yes, I'm in line and you better back off because I was here first.

4. "I didn't hear the phone ring."-Liar.

5. "Can I see you in my office for a minute?"-It NEVER takes a minute and it is NEVER good. It is better to just be honest and say something like, "Come in my office so I can screw up your whole 'good karma' day."

6. "You look different. What did you do?"-Hmmm, I don't know. Depends on if you mean that as a compliment or not. Different as in "I used to look like crap and now I don't" or different as in "I look older and more worn out but you don't wanna say it"?

7. "Have you talked to Mom/your sister today?"-Don't answer, it's a trick question!!

8. "Does this smell spoiled to you?"-WTF? You think something smells disgusting and you want me to confirm? Trust yourself and leave me out of it.

9. "I hate to ask this but..."-Then don't. Seriously, I'm a busy person and unless I have given birth to you, I'd rather not go out of my way to do anything for you. Deal with it yourself.

10. "Do you have any plans for tonight/tomorrow/next Tuesday?"-Well, I don't know. If you are going to invite me to do something stupid then yes, I have plans. If the invitation is for something good, then I might be available. The only possible answer to that question is, "Why?"

11. "Mom! I need you down here!"-Again, NOTHING good ever comes of this. There is usually, blood, glue, Coca-Cola or something else spillable to contend with when I arrive.

12. "Oh, yes, we've met before."-And I stand there wondering who the hell this person is. I hate that.

I'm sure there are more, but you get the idea...