Simple Things I Miss About Being a Kid:

And I'm not talking about the easy stuff...like not having to pay bills, taxes or get to work on time everyday. It is the little stuff in life that makes being a kid so great. When people (parents AND teachers) at school get annoyed by kids doing dumb, silly stuff I want to slap them senseless. Guess what? When I get to the point where I can't remember what it is like to be 9 years old, I need to retire. So, here are some things that kids get to do and we don't...and we should all remember these things and miss them!

1. Being able to eat fast food a few times a week. I suppose I could now...but it would mean extra exercise and an increased amount of guilt.

2. Holding my sister down (Hi, Abby!) and tickling her until she peed in her pants. That was so much fun. (And she is reading this so now she knows that I miss that...she might be a little jumpy next time we meet for coffee...) Tormenting your siblings....high on anyone's list, right? Now it just makes you mean if you do it ;-).

3. 25 cent candy bars. 'Nuff said.

4. When going shopping meant walking to Carson Pirie Scott and looking at Hello Kitty stuff. Now it means the Jewel and I have to carry a lot of crap back and forth from the car. Although how funny is it that Hello Kitty is back "in"?

5. Jumping in piles of leaves. You can do this now...but it takes longer to hit the ground when you are an adult and it hurts more. On this same topic....Slip-n-Slides....I miss those. Those were AWESOME! But they are clearly not meant for adults. My neighbor took a running dive onto one a few years back and she almost ended up with severe spinal injuries and a broken nose. It might have been funny had it not been so horrifyingly embarrassing and frightening.

6. Allowance. Now I have to work for my money and use it for SURVIVAL. The nerve...

7. Jumping around inside the station wagon with no seat belts. Yes, it was dangerous, but climbing from the front seat all the way to the way-back to avoid my dad trying to smack one of us while driving with his knee and yelling at us was hysterical.

8. Metal lunch boxes with Ding-Dongs, Ho-Hos or Twinkies. Oh, I get teary just thinking about the yummy cream filling. Hostess still makes all of those, but I SWEAR they are not the same! What did they do to them?? (And is it really true that Twinkies aren't baked and have a shelf life to withstand a nuclear war? I have to remember to check that out on Snopes.)

9. Stinky, pungent bubble gum...gives me a headache now and why does it smell so bad?? How does that happen...Now I'm my mom telling kids not to "chew like a cow".

10. When Hanukkah and Christmas was all about the presents you GOT. Now it is about how many gifts I have to buy for a million others and I have to keep spouting all that, "It is better to give than receive" bullshit to the kids so they don't get greedy. Sucks....

Life was simpler back then....and kids rarely appreciate it, right? Childhood should be after adulthood so you can really live it up and appreciate the wonder of it all! Hey, I think Brad Pitt just made a movie like this...looks creepy though...Anyway...happy holidays to all, whether you are giving gifts or receiving them try to embrace your inner child ;-).